What Parenting Is Not

There was so much more that I learned from Amy, the stay at home mom, I met at the 8-hour queue last Thursday. I did ask for her permission to share on my blog some of the things she confided to me.

For Amy, parenting is not, asking older children in the family to be responsible for their younger siblings. Amy came from a family of 13 children in an impoverished village; she was the 7th child. She was responsible for taking care of one younger sibling. She also helped with household chores. She sadly recalled her particular chore as a grade schooler: "As soon as I got home, I would quickly set aside my school bag and take off my uniform, change my clothes and feed the pigs. I did not have much time to play. I never really experienced what it was to be a 'child.'

For Amy, parenting is not, letting the kids fend for themselves. Unlike her two boys who are experiencing what it's like to have a mother who prepares their lunch box, tutors them, and joins them in their field trips, Amy studied on her own. Her mother had to earn a living and there were other children to take care of. Yet, Amy did quite well in school that a medal awaited her at graduation day. Unfortunately, both her parents could not make it.

"Perhaps that was my destiny," Amy said. "I promised myself that when I had my own family, things would be different."

Despite a meager income, Amy makes sure that her sons get to join their school's field trips. She helps them out with their lessons, plays with them, assigns them light chores like washing the dishes, and ensures that they only watch TV one hour each day.

Amy believes that her concerns should extend beyond her family. So she volunteers at the city government's feeding program and bring her boys along once in a while. "I want them to realize that they are better off than other children, even if we are also poor. And I think they are catching on. Once my younger boy, shared his lunch with his schoolmate who had no food."

How many Amys are there in this country?

I don't know, but for sure her story lifted my spirit. It renewed my faith in God and in the resilience of the Filipinos amidst the widespread poverty and helplessness.